I need some GOOD funny LINUX sigs (one liners)

[tvance]

I have heard some great Linux one liners here (i.e. -- Windows for dummies is not a book its a description ... and the one about Windows is a Stable OS when kept in its original packaging --2 of my faves...--if I quoted those wrong please forgive...--Oh ya another fave is the -- It said Win9x or better so I installed Linux! sweet guys... sweet!)

But could you guys give me a few more... I am having a FUN war of Phrases towards my boss who thinks I am insane for using Linux and trying to get him to convert the office.

heres my attempt.... um- "Got Bugs? Drink Penguin Milk!"... no no bad... bad.. well you can see why I need your help!

SO BRING IT ON!

tvance
Jesus saves!

[Radar]

"Linux is free if your time is worthless"
-Unknown

[mrBen]

Carpe Aptendytes from my sig means, 'Seize the Penguin'. I've always liked it ;)

Or perhaps:

rm -rf /mnt/winc/*

[tvance]

mr ben -- I like those,,, thanks....

but that other guy... hey man-- DONT GIVE MY BOSS ANY AMMO!

t

[iamchilled1]

You're just mad because the Penguins talk to me....:D

[TCaptain70]

"I keep my windows partition around so I can mount it like the ***** that it is..."

I have no idea who said it first, but I've used it as a sig before.

[Radar]

Originally posted by TCaptain70
"I keep my windows partition around so I can mount it like the ***** that it is..."

I have no idea who said it first, but I've used it as a sig before.

One of the Linuxnewbie old timers.

[jedthehumanoid]

i think you should e-mail this backround image to your boss....


http://www.themedepot.org/showzoomedframe.php4?id=145

[hlrguy]

I have the attached as one of my random backgrounds. I shrunk it to fit here. It is and
others are available at

http://www.kde-look.org/index.php?page=1

hlrguy

P.S. Same name as attached.

[DMR]

"The day Microsoft makes a product that does not suck will be the day they start making vacuum cleaners."


tvance,

By the way, not to rain on your anti-M$ parade here, but posts like these really belong in /dev/random...

:)

[bjornredemption]

Dunno where i saw this but:
' Get the Bird!!!'

[knute]

This is one that I actually used, and was sent when I asked a company if they had a version for linux.

MSWindows: Proof that P.T. Barnum was correct.

[BaVinic]

I don't know, but I still like:

"Don't Fear the Penguin"

BaVinic

[ViMan]

I have tons of these. Sorry, some of these are anti-M$. Others are pro-Linux. Also, I got these off other people (don't remember who). Enjoy:

"If Bill Gates had 2 cents for everytime windows crashed, oh wait......he does!!!!"

"And now that I'm running my life support equipment through Windows 95, I'll never have to worry about ? beeeeeeeep..."

"If Linux doesn't have the solution, you have the wrong problem."

"Why pirate software when Linux is so cheap?"

"On the side of the software box, in the 'System Requirements' section, it said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed Linux."

"When the going gets tough, the tough use Linux."

"Financially wise I think M$ is a joke."

"Linux is free, you can do about 90% of the things you can in Windows, and support for what was lacking is getting a bit better."

"Linux has it's great advantages and M$ has it's place too. Why can't we all just get along? well maybe cuz M$ won't let that happen."

"Failure is not an option, that's why I use Linux"

""Windows for Dummies" is much more than a book title, it's a Microsoft way of life!"

"When working towards a deadline, my programmers can go 72 hours without
sleep."
-- Bill Gates, in an interview. The result should be noted... :-)

"Windows leads to frustration
Frustration leads to anger
Anger leads to suffering
Suffering leads to hate
Therefore, Windows leads to hate"

"This was around 15 years ago, and I can just imagine 15 years from now how people will be laughing at the Linux vs. Windows thing. Linux will prevail; all good things always do."

"Wouldn't claiming windows has security holes in it insinuate that windows has security? LOL."

"In Windows, only Bill has root."

"In the long run, Windoze will make 1 mistake, and Linux will conquer."

""That vulnerability is completely theoretical."
-- Microsoft
L0pht, Making the theoretical practical since 1992.""

"Microsoft where do you want to go today
(as if you have a choice)"

"Through Linux, I just gain more out of my PC."

"Micro$oft - How many times would you like to restart your computer today?""

"Bill Gates spoon fed me with windoze...now that I know Linux, It's time to bite the hand that fed me..."

"MS's strength doesn't lie in the intelligence of the average user. It lies in their ignorance."

"Microsoft is both the Darth Vader and the Obi-Wan Kenobi of the software world. On the one hand, it has been accused of building a vast, dark empire. On the other, if it comes out of the antitrust case relatively unscathed, then, as Kenobi said; "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."

"Linux gives the working geek power."

"More i am working with linux more i feel that windows is an alternative for people who dont want to tax their brains too much."

"Despite MS's good qualities, I hate it. Long live the penguin!"

"Eventually the revolutionaries become the established culture, and then what will they do?"
- Linus Torvalds

"Micro$oft sold you the Ctrl-Alt-Del
Linux sold you the record uptimes."

"I hate my computer, so I use Windows. This piece of crap doesn't deserve any better."

"We all know Linux is great...it does infinite loops in 5 seconds."
---Linus Torvalds

[DMR]

An old one from another member's sig file:

"Linux is like a wigwam: no Windows, no Gates, Apache inside."

[viperlin]

my friends allways take the piss outa linux
they use XP

he said:
"linux is crap"
i said:
"if linux is crap, windows is a sespool of rotting corpses floating in vomit"

he still just kept saying linux is crap so i walked off and called him a teletubby

(any way to shut these guys up would be great)

(i am actually just subscribing to this thread, but this point poped into my head and i think u lot might be able to help)

[JCool451]

"Bang head on Keyboard to continue." ~M$ Support

[mdwatts]

Originally posted by DMR

tvance,

By the way, not to rain on your anti-M$ parade here, but posts like these really belong in /dev/random...

:)

Exactly...

Off you go.

Everyone starts replying to this thread and then forgets about the 'real' Linux questions that are still waiting to be answered. :rolleyes:

[tvance]

sorry--- sheez. this WAS by the way a General Question and it does by the way PERTAIN to LINUX so it technically doesnt BELONG in Random.

but please dont delete me... i need to use some of these so I apologize OH GREAT MOVER OF POSTS! Please forgive my NON POST MOVING ABILITY Butt for any sarcasm I may have released from my port hole.

by the way..... I will be using YOUR sig also!
t

[vbp6us]

This one is cool:

"Failure is not an option, that's why I use Linux"


The one i have in my sig is pretty cool but cant remember who said it.

[threadhead]

Originally posted by mrBen
Carpe Aptendytes from my sig means, 'Seize the Penguin'. I've always liked it ;)

Or perhaps:

rm -rf /mnt/winc/*

nice one ;)

i dont really know a sig, so i repost mr bens. :D

[Helper_Monkey]

Originally posted by ViMan
"Windows leads to frustration
Frustration leads to anger
Anger leads to suffering
Suffering leads to hate
Therefore, Windows leads to hate"

This of course reminds me of this quote:

God is love.
Love is blind.
Ray Charles is blind.
Therefore, Ray Charles is God?

[viperlin]

hows this?

rm -r -f /usr/bin/laden

[bwkaz]

Originally posted by Helper_Monkey
This of course reminds me of this quote:

God is love.
Love is blind.
Ray Charles is blind.
Therefore, Ray Charles is God? Heh, well, at least the "Windows leads to frustration..." one is valid logic (assuming the premises are true, which in all reality, they may possibly not be, I'd have to admit...).

Your Ray Charles one isn't valid logic. a->b, when b is known to be true, tells nothing about a. ;)

[Dun'kalis]

"I'm always right, but this time, I'm a little more right than usual" -- Linus Torvalds

rm -rf /

As a side note, I tried rm -rf / in a user mode session, and its painfully destructive. So I just used uml_mconsole to kill the session :D

[BigFatJoe]

"Linux: because rebooting is for adding hardware"

--Not claiming rights to this.
Just claiming all your souls! :D

[mdwatts]

Originally posted by tvance
sorry--- sheez. this WAS by the way a General Question and it does by the way PERTAIN to LINUX so it technically doesnt BELONG in Random.


Don't make me come over to beat you with a common sense stick. ;)

[The Ennead IX]

Originally posted by tvance
Jesus saves!

But Solskjaer scores off the rebound

Ok so it ain't Linux but I can't resist the oldies but goodies :D

[guitargeek]

rm -r -f /usr/bin/laden

I had that T-shirt even before I ran linux : )

[viperlin]

well every 1 kept usin the oldies...........

[glaston]

Linux will prevail; all good things always do." So good ALWAYS wins over evil? Where does this occur? The Brady Bunch? I've been on this planet for 25 years. And have yet to see anything that suggests to me that good always wins in the end. Aside from movies, books, and stories that is.
Seems to me that money always wins!?

[JCool451]

M$ support call

M$:Hello what is your problem?

Caller:Windows keeps crashing.

M$:So what's your problem?

Caller:Windows keeps crashing!

M$:So there's no problem then? Good bye.

[click]

Not really a joke it's more like what I say to people when they ask me why windows is crashing.

[mister_math]

Sort of off-topic (sorry), but who used to have the sig "I pad my post count in /dev/random"?

All the Linux one-liners I know have already been mentioned in this thread (sorry (again)).

[emetib]

Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.
Bill Gates (1955 - ), Business @ The Speed of Thought

should be "greatest source of income"

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
Bill Gates (1955 - ), Business @ The Speed of Thought

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Rich Cook

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Robert X. Cringely, InfoWorld magazine

In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it.
Unknown

[Dun'kalis]

I just added something new to my sig a few days ago. Not exactly Linux related, but it is on the website of a Unix vendor (The SCO Group).

[cage47]

Originally posted by glaston
Seems to me that money always wins!?

Sorry to debunk this myth but one word: ENRON
Giving new meaning to the "crooked E"

Oh for sigs, look below.